i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Randomize
