my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
