Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
