ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
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Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
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I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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