My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
