what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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