im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
