That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize