i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
