Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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