Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
