my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
