some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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