My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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