I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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