My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
