So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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