"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
