i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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