i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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