Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
