O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
