You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm at about main and main street
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
