so that wasnt chicken after all
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
