he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is Oprah even human
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
