Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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