I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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