It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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