'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You pole danced in your parka.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
