Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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