We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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