All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
