I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i don't like sucking hair
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
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I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
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Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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