We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
