? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
