I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
