ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
