hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
