Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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