I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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