I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
