ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
