Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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