He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i think my cat just said my name.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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