I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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