I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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