Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
