He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
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You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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