I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize