Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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