First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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