Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
