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• (503): View more from Oregon

  i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!

  (360): View more from Washington

  let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.

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• (714): View more from California

  Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?

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• (707): View more from California

  No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS

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