is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.