ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i think i have two assholes
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs