he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
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So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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