I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
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i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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