I think I am morally bankrupt
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
