I want to have your abortion
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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