Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
