I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
