remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
