Can i not drive my cunt home
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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